Bruno Mars - Just The Way You Are [Official Video]

I am beautiful the way I am

Today I was straightening my hair and I was looking at my face in the mirror. Looking at myself, I realized that I am beautiful the way I am. I am beautiful on the outside just as much as I am in the inside. If I think that I am beautiful and I show it, that is all that matters. I love myself the way that I am. I don't need to change anything about myself. I have accepted myself for my looks and for who I am. Nothing else matters. In the past I have not always felt comfortable and I have not always accepted the way that I looked because of my weight. When it came to high school dances and I wasn't asked to any of them I felt insecure because I thought guys didn't ask me because of the way that I looked. Maybe that was true, maybe it wasn't. I won't ever know. It has taken me years to finally feel comfortable with the way that I look and I accept it full heartedly. Someday there will be a guy in my life who will have accepted the way that I look on the outside and inside. Until that day I will be fine just as long as I know that I am beautiful just the way that I am.

Glee Cast - Born This Way (Glee Cast Version)

We were all born a certain way. God knew what he was doing when he created all things even us. We were born to become somebody important and to be on the right track. We don't need to have something like OCD, illnesses, health issues, blemishes, or anything else hold us back for becoming somebody important. We all are meant to do something and we can't let anything hold us back. We need to love everything about ourselves and continue on with our lives. We are who we are and we are perfect the way we are. We can't let certain things in our lives run our lives. It is only a small part of who we really are.

If you don't stand for something then you fall for anything.

"If you don't stand for something then you fall for anything." I heard someone say that quote the other night and it really stood out to me. It got me thinking about the experience that I had over at the Solid Rock Cafe when they had a meeting with some of their church members who were once LDS but have left the church because they have been born again. They had said some things about the LDS church that was hard for me to hear. For the next few days I had to process what was said and I started to doubt that I had a testimony. When I heard if you don't stand for something then you fall for anything that got me thinkingthat I need to find out where the church stands in my life because if I don't figure out where it stands then I am going to fall for anything that other people say about the LDS church. I need to find my testimony again and establish a good relationship with the Lord. I need to figure out where the church stands in my life or else I am going to fall for about anything. I don't want to be one of those people who will fall for about anything.I think that quote goes with anything that is going on in your life whether it is your religion, or something else like animal cruelty, the environment, or something that is worth fighting for. Just find something to stand for or you will fall for about anything.

What I think about my sisters

I am the youngest of five daughters. When we were all younger and living with my parents, I think that I had a decent relationship with my sisters. I am sure that I annoyed them and there were times when they have annoyed me (sometimes they still do). But isn't that a part of sibling life? I always wanted to hang out with Miranda and her friends or with Melissa and her friends because I thought that they were so cool. There were times when Miranda would let me hang out with them but then I remember when there were a few times when I wanted to tag along but Miranda had told me that I couldn't come. Stacey was the motherly sister. I remember one time my chore was to vacuum the living room and I wanted to go out to play with my friends but I couldn't go out until my chore was done. I hurriedly vacuumed and I did a u shaped vaccuum and I left. Stacey called me back and asked me what was wrong with the vacuuming in the living room. She made me vacuum the living room over again until she thought that it was good enough. I remember when Megan was working at Zuka Juice and she was the manager. She would let us come in with her when she had to do her managerial job and she would make us drinks or let us just hang out until she was done. She would even bring home Einstein bagels home when Einstien Employees had extra bagels from the day. There is a whole point in why I am writing this. Now that we all are grown up, all of my sisters are married and have kids and I am single, we are all in different stages in our lives. It seems like all of my sisters are in the same stage abd I am just a few stages behind them because I am not married and I don't have children. Our relationships are different from when we were younger and living at home with our parents. We all have some kind of relationship with eachother but it seems like my four older sisters have a stronger relationship with eachother than they do with me. I always feel like I am outside of the loop. I have always felt like I have made the effort to try to have a better relationship with my sisters but I feel like my efforts are in vain. So when we have gotten together as a family I have stopped trying to participate in conversations and I would go read or spend time with my nieces and nephews. I have just stopped trying. About four and half years ago Melissa started to make an effort. We would spend some time with eachother. It would be either at her house or doing something together like working on her bows. She eventually told me that she didn't feel like she had a good relationship with me, so she had prayed to God to see what she could do to have a better relationship with me. She had gotten the idea that she should try to be more like a friend to me than a sister. There are times when Melissa is more like a sister but I do know that she means well. We are friends. Out of all the sisters, Melissa is the one that I could turn to and actually talk to her. For the first time I was actually able to tell her how I felt the other day and it felt good. Of course I chose the sister who I could talk to the easiest. Now I need to tell my other sisters how I feel. I just need to figure out how to say it nicely and not get offended with what is going to be said.

Poetry

I am not that good at expressing myself vocally. I have always been able to think of what I have wanted to say but when I try to say what I want to say, it doesn't come out the way I had it in my mind. That is part of the reason why I have always written in my journal because I am getting things off of my chest and mind. Another thing that has really helped me the last several years has been writing poetry. The poetry has helped me even more because I was really able to express what I wanted to say in a different form than writing in my journal. When I was attending Snow College there was the Snow College Literary Magazine competition and I thought that I would enter some of my poetry in the competition. I entered two of my poems not expecting to win or become an honorary mention. One of my poems was published in the magazine as an honorary mention. That poem is called Pain. I never really thought that I would ever have any of my poems published. Then I had this poem published. I am excited that I actually had a poem published. This is the poem that I have written.

Pain

The pain is all inside
Nothing I do will make it disappear
Friends are laughing and talking all around me
No one notices the scratches and burns on my arms and hands
I go to my room and shut the door.
I am all alone with matches and a pin
A natch scratching across a rough surface
It bursting into a flame
The pin being heated up by the flickering flame
The hot pin pressed against my arms and hands
Pain searing through my body
No sound comes out of my mouth
but my face shows the pain I am feeling
The pain that I feel from the burns is only there for a few seconds
But the pain around my heart is always there
It never leaves me
At times I just want to cry out and let people know how much pain I am feeling
I am tired of feeling the emotional and physical pain

Solid Rock Cafe

In Ephraim there is a place that I have thoroughly enjoyed going to the last several years I have been living here. The Solid Rock Cafe. The first semester that I was going to Snow College, I had only gone to the Cafe once, but the following year I made several more trips to the Cafe. The Solid Rock Cafe is run by the local Christian Church, The Church of the Bible. Chip and Jamie are the ones who are in charge of the Cafe. I have become good friends with Jamie and with some of the other people who are at the Solid Rock Cafe. They all know that I am LDS. At least I think that all of them know that I am LDS. I don't feel threatened by them at all. Actually to me, Jamie and Chip have become like a second family to me. Not once have they tried to "convert " me and not once have I tried to "convert" them to join my church. I have had good conversations about religion and the gospel. I have been able to see what it is like to be a part of another religion. They have invited me to a lot of their activities. I think that they have invited me to a lot of their activities in hopes that they would convert me and become a "born again christian" but it hasn't happened. Jamie has become a good friend of mine. She has been there when I have needed someone. Solid Rock Cafe has been a safe haven for me when I needed a break from my roommates, apartment environment, and from my other friends. They have become a second family. They have accepted me with open arms and I have accepted them. Religion is just one part of someone.